Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
