I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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