Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
