weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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