You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
