Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
