it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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