who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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