Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
