im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
