Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
