Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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