I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
