Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
