pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
