and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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