Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
