Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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