He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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