Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
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I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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