Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
