wake up i wanna do it froggy style
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize