She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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