a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
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