Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
