I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
