dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
