I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We smell like vodka and hangover
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