we have officially lost it.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
