There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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