office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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