I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
