...so i touched it.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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