New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
