and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
