This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
3pm strippers are depressing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
