You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
