I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
