just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
