I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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