haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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