your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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