If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
