I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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