Don't you send me to vm
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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