how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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