Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
