I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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