would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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