I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
