STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
