Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
