Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
