just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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