Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
