my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
